Just As I Am

it's been a while...

2009-05-08T00:37:00.000-07:00

i didn't keep my promise and i think i couldn't... that is a promise of updating my blog... a lot of things happened... however, they are inscribed in my heart... couldn't remember the details though :-)

The Statutes of the Lord are Trustworthy...

2007-10-25T02:57:00.000-07:00

"The statutes of the Lord are trustworthy, making wise the simple." This is what Psalm 19:7 says and I believe it's true. The Word of the Lord is dependable, it will guide us as we walk through life. It will help us avoid the dangers that lie in wait. And not only that, the Word of the Lord also reassures us of His promises, that no matter what happens, God is in control and His goodness is always available for those who look for them.

Below are the verses which have leapt off the Bible's pages into my heart. Let me share them with you. Enjoy!

Psalm 102:12,13 "But You, O Lord, sit enthroned forever; Your renown endures through all generations. You will arise and have compassion on Zion, for it is time to show favor to her; the appointed time has come."

Psalm 105:19 "... till the Word of the Lord proved him true."

Psalm 106:3 "Blessed are they who maintain justice, who constantly do what is right."

Psalm 116:12-14 "How can I repay the Lord for all His goodness to me? I will lift up the cup of salvation and call on the name of the Lord. I will fulfill my vows to the Lord in the presence of all His people."

Psalm 131:1 "My heart is not proud, O Lord, my eyes are not haughty; I do not concern myself with great matters or things too wonderful for me."

Psalm 136 "Give thanks to the Lord... His love endures forever."

Psalm 138:8 "The Lord will fulfill His purpose for me."

Psalm 145:13-20 "The Lord is faithful to all His promises and loving toward all He has made. The Lord upholds all those who fall and lifts up all who are bowed down. The eyes of all look to You, and You give them their food at the proper time. You open your hand and satisfy the desires of every living thing. The Lord is righteous in all His ways and loving towards all He has made. The Lord is near to all who call on Him, to all who call on Him in truth. He fulfills the desires of those who fear Him; He hears their cry and saves them. The Lord watches over all who love Him, but all the wicked He will destroy."

Psalm 147: 10,11 "His pleasure is not in the strength of the horse, nor His delight in the legs of a man; the Lord delights in those who fear Him, who put their hope in His unfailing love."

Psalm 150 "Let everything that has breath... Praise the Lord!

Proverbs 1:2-7 "... for attaining wisdom and discipline; for understanding words of insight; for acquiring a disciplined and prudent life, doing what is right and just and fair; for giving prudence to the simple, knowledge and discretion to the young- let the wise listen and add to their learning, and let the discerning get guidance- for understanding proverbs and parables, the sayings and riddles of the wise. The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and discipline."

Proverbs 1:33 "... but whoever listens to me will live in safety and be at ease, without fear of harm."

Proverbs 4:23-25 "Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life. Put away perversity from your mouth, keep corrupt talk far from your lips. Let your eyes look straight ahead, fix your gaze directly before you."

Proverbs 7:2 "Keep my commands and you will live; guard my teachings as the apple of your eye."

Proverbs 8:2 "On the height along the way, where the paths meet, she takes her stand..."

Proverbs 9:8,9 "Do not rebuke a mocker or he will hate you; rebuke a wise man and he will love you. Instruct a wise men and he will be wiser still; teach a righteous man and he will add to his learning."

Proverbs 10:22 "The blessing of the Lord brings wealth, and He adds no trouble to it."

Proverbs 11:2 "When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom."

Proverbs 12:14 "From the fruit of his lips a man is filled with good things as surely as the work of his hands rewards him."

Proverbs 12:4 "A wife of noble character is her husband's crown, but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones."

Proverbs 13:11 "Dishonest money dwindles away, but he who gathers money little by little makes it grow."

Proverbs 14:8 "The wisdom of the prudent is to give thought to their ways, but the folly of fools is deception."

Proverbs 15:1 "A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger."

Proverbs 15:3 "The eyes of the Lord are everywhere, keeping watch on the wicked and the good."

Proverbs 15:33 "The fear of the Lord teaches a man wisdom and humility comes before honor."

"Meet the Robinsons" and Be Encouraged!

2007-10-25T02:55:00.000-07:00

Last August 30, Babe and I watched "Meet the Robinsons". At first, I was not really into it. I thought that watching it was just a waste of time. Babe did every trick he knew to persuade me. I believe his tricks weren't old yet because they really changed my mind about the idea of watching it.

So, what happened after watching it? I cried. It was like there's a lump in my throat. Why? Because the film taught very valuable lessons in life: "Keep moving forward!" "Never give up." "Your future is determined by the decisions you make today."

Have you ever felt like giving up? Have you ever wondered if there's more to life than what you have right now? In this journey that we call life, things aren't always up, right? There are times when it's like you're free falling, being pulled down by gravity without any stop. And when you reach the bottom, you don't want to stand up anymore. You just want to stay where you are.

But we should always remember that it's all up to us. It's all up to us where we want to settle and spend the rest of our life after that dispiriting experience. We can either wallow in the mud of self-pity and discouragement or soar and rise above our situation.

In the film, Luis (I'm not sure about the name, I forgot na) almost didn't make it to be the best inventor his country had ever known. When he was just a kid, although bright and witty, he encountered a lot of mistakes and failures. He was about to give up! But then, he met a family, the Robinsons family and told him to "keep moving forward" and that's what he did! He chose not to stay inside the cave of disappointment but get out of it and move ahead to the bright world of new opportunities. And did that guy bump into success!

Where are you right now? Why not drop everything that has been bothering you, "Meet the Robinsons" and be encouraged! Happy watching!:-)

God's Faithfulness is a Shield and Rampart

2007-10-25T02:33:00.000-07:00

A lot of things have happened in my personal life, in my marriage life. My husband and I were tried and tested, and I should say that we overcame and emerged as victors. It's not because we are able-bodied warriors but because the Lord's faithfulness has been and will always be our shield and rampart. Let me tell you a story...

Last night (August 12), I had a dream. I dreamed that my Babe and I were inside a house. It was not a big house, rather just enough for us. Outside the house were lots of trees. We were surrounded with tall trees. Then a great storm came and all the trees around the house were knocked down one by one. A little fear swept over me for I thought about the trees that were in front of the house. They would surely crash our humble abode down. But when I looked at the window, I saw the trees had avoided our house when they fell off. For there was a clearing in front of our house. Suddenly, the word of the Lord was impressed in my heart, God is faithful. When I woke up, I shared this to Babe, my husband. I was then reminded about by a verse in the Bible- "You will only see it with your eyes... A thousand will fall at your side, ten thousand at your right hand but it will not come near you..." I got our Bible and looked for it and found it in Psalm 91. At the same time, the song that played on our cassette was, "Forever, God is faithful." I just cried as I read the verse to my husband.

That dream happened just before I underwent an operation. Four days after, on our second monthsary, I was at the The Medical City and underwent D & C operation. We didn't know that I was already 6 weeks pregnant then.

It was unexpected, I didn't know that that will happen but it happened. I realized that this was the storm in my dream but it had not destroyed us, it made us better persons. God's faithfulness has seen us through this trying times. We couldn't have survived it without Him. Indeed, He is a shield and rampart to those whose hearts
are fully committed to Him.

Some pictures before and after the "storm".

on one of the "complete-bed-rest" days

3 days before the operation

1 week after the operation

3 weeks after the operation

new hairdo, new look

A Month After that Blissful Day

2007-07-17T08:32:00.000-07:00

Being married is fun and exciting but I tell you it's not all a bed of roses. A month after that blissful day, here am I, in tears and lonely. My husband and I are still in the adjustment period. I used to think that everything will just happen in one day. Now, what do I mean by that "everything"?

Well, I thought that within a month, I'd know him more and be known more by him. I thought that everyday would just be a day of sweetness and nothing else. But reality strikes me, it's not always like that... it's more than that.

My husband tells me that it might take us sometime before we would be used to living together, before we could honestly take our differences with surrender. What is important is that we're willing to undergo this process and that we have the Lord as the center and foundation of our marriage.

So, what would I say after a month of that blissful day? Do I have any regrets? Do I still have that confidence in my heart to say that, "he is the one"?

Well, a month after that blissful day, I still feel the same way for my husband. I don't have any regrets and my heart is still confident to say, "he really is the one"!

A month may be too young but I'm willing to spend my life with Wilbert, my husband, another month and even more months and years until that day when we will realize that we are already old and yet the love we have for each other is just like the love that we have for the first time.

Happy monthsary mahal ko! I love you muchi! :-)

June 16, 2007

2007-07-17T08:28:00.000-07:00

From Miss Joy L. Barachina to Mrs. Joy B. Lojo! This is the day that we have been waiting for... A day of finally becoming one! The Lord is good!

A Surprise Shower Party for Me

2007-06-04T03:14:00.000-07:00

I've always dreamed of having to walk down the aisle and have a family of my own. This is one of my childhood dreams. Now that it's coming to its fulfilment, one of the things that I'm looking forward to before tying the knot, is to have a shower party. I've asked my maid of honor if she's preparing one and she's not yet sure. I've also asked my ate, but I got the same answer.

Last Thursday, I talked to the Lord. I opened up my heart and just uttered, "Lord, maybe this is the only desire of my heart that You won't grant (because every petty or simple desires I have, He grants), and I don't know why." Little did I know that my sis friend, Deen, was cooking up something for me. She talked to our common friend, who happens to be my officemate also, Ate Beth. She talked to my fiance, Wilbert. And so the good plan materialized. A shower party was given to me. The Lord is so good! He never stops showing His goodness and kindness to His children.

Below are some of the pics of the shower. Did I get wet? Uhmmm... yes! With my own tears!;-)

my "sis" Deen, the 'brain' of this shower

ate beth, as she did the catwalk wearing a paper gown :-)

ate thess, wearing another paper gown :-)

gen and newly during one of the games

one of the gifts i received,hehehe! newly gave it. ;-)

When You Divorce Me Carry Me Out in Your Arms

2007-04-27T01:34:00.000-07:00

I read an article that really touched my heart. Actually, it brought me to tears and left a lump in my throat. I hope that as everyone reads this, he or she will share it to a couple who is in the brink of divorce or separation and that in a way, this article will somehow make a difference.

On my wedding day, I carried my wife in my arms. The bridal car stopped in front of our one-room flat. My buddies insisted that I carry her out of the car in my arms. So I carried her into our home. She was then plump and shy. I was a strong and happy bridegroom. This was the scene ten years ago.

The following days were as simple as a cup of pure water: we had a kid; I went into business and tried to make more money. When the assets were steadily increasing, the affection between us seemed to ebb. She was a civil servant. Every morning we left home together and got home almost at the same time. Our kid was studying in a boarding school. Our marriage life seemed to be enviably happy. But the calm life was more likely to be affected by unpredictable changes. Dew came into my life.

It was a sunny day. I stood on a spacious balcony. Dew hugged me from behind. My heart once again was immersed in her stream of love. This was the apartment I bought for her. Dew said, you are the kind of man who best draws girls' eyeballs. Her words suddenly reminded me of my wife. When we were just married, my wife said, Men like you, once successful, will be very attractive to girls. Thinking of this, I became somewhat hesitant. I knew I had betrayed my wife. But I couldn't help doing so. I moved Dew's hands aside and said you go to select some furniture, O.K.? I've got something to do in the company. Obviously she was unhappy, because I had promised to do it together with her. At the moment, the idea of divorce became clearer in my mind although it used to be something impossible to me. However, I found it rather difficult to tell my wife about it. No matter how mildly I mentioned it to her, she would be deeply hurt. Honestly, she was a good wife. Every evening she was busy
preparing dinner. I was sitting in front of the TV. The dinner was ready soon. Then we watched TV together. Or, I was lounging before the computer, visualizing Dew's body. This was the means of my entertainment.

One day I said to her in a slightly joking way, suppose we divorce, what will you do? She stared at me for a few seconds without a word. Apparently she believed that divorce was something too far away from her. I couldn't imagine how she would
react once she got to know I was serious. When my wife went to my office, Dew had just stepped out. Almost all the staff looked at my wife with a sympathetic eye and tried to hide something while talking to her. She seemed to have got some hint. She gently smiled at my subordinates. But I read some hurt in her eyes. Once again,
Dew said to me, He Ning, divorce her, O.K.? Then we live together. I nodded. I knew I could not hesitate any more.

When my wife served the last dish, I held her hand. I've got something to tell you, I said. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the serious topic calmly. She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why? I'm serious. I avoided her
question. This so-called answer made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer, because my heart had gone to Dew. With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. I felt a pain in my heart. The woman who had been living ten years with me would become a stranger one day. But I could not take back what I had said. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer.

Late that night, I came back home after entertaining my clients. I saw her writing something at the table. I fall asleep fast. When I woke up, I found she was still there. I turned over and was asleep again. She brought up her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but I was supposed to give her one month s time before divorce, and in the month's time we must live as normal a life as possible. Her reason was simple: our son would finish his summer vacation a month later and she didn't want him to see our marriage was broken. She passed me the agreement she drafted, and then asked me, He Ning, do you still remember how I entered our bridal room on the wedding day? This question suddenly brought back all those wonderful memories to me. I nodded and said, I remember. You carried me in your arms, she continued, so, I have a requirement, that is, you carry me out in your arms on the day when we divorce. From now to the end of this month, you must carry me out from the bedroom to the door every morning. I accepted with a smile. I knew she missed those sweet days and wished to end her marriage romantically. I told Dew about my
wife s divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she does, she has to face the result of divorce, she said scornfully. Her words more or less made me feel uncomfortable.

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. We even treated each other as a stranger. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared lumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding
mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly, Let us start from today, don't tell our son. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait
for a bus, I drove to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. We were so close that I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this intimate woman carefully for a long time. I found she was not young any more. There were some fine wrinkles on her face.

On the third day, she whispered to me, the outside garden is being demolished. Be careful when you pass there.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I seemed to feel that we were still an intimate couple and I was holding my sweetheart in my arms.The visualization of Dew became vague.

On the fifth and sixth day, she kept reminding me something, such as, where she put the ironed shirts, I should be careful while cooking, etc. I nodded. The sense of intimacy was even stronger. I didn't tell Dew about this. I felt it was easier to carry her. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger. I said to her, It seems not difficult to carry you now. She was picking her dresses. I was waiting to carry her out. She tried quite a few but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I smiled. But I suddenly realized that it was because she was thinner that I could carry her more easily, not because I was stronger. I knew she had buried all the bitterness in her heart. Again, I felt a sense of pain. Subconsciously I reached out a hand to touch her head. Our son came in at the moment. Dad, it's time to carry mum out. He said. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had been an essential part of his life. She gestured our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face because I was afraid I would change my mind at the last minute. I held her in my arms, walking from the
bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly, as if we came back to our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad.

On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. She said, actually hope you will hold me in your arms until we are old. I held her tightly and said, both you and I didn't notice that our life lacked intimacy.

I jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my decision. I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door. I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I won't divorce. I'm serious. She looked at me, astonished. The she touched my forehead. You got no fever. She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I can only say sorry to you, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of life, not because we didn't love each other any more. Now I understand that since I carried her into the home, she gave birth to our child, I am supposed to hold her until I am old. So I have to say sorry to you. Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove to the office.

When I passed the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet for my wife which was her favorite. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until we are old.

The Certainty of His Promise

2007-04-04T00:03:00.000-07:00

Another verse has touched me this morning as I was reading my Bible. "And thus, having patiently waited, he obtained the promise." These are the words in Hebrews 6:15. The author is talking about Abraham, who is known for his faith. We know his story, right? He used to be named Abram but after having an encounter with God, he was named, Abraham, which means, "the father of many nations". As we all know, it took many, many years before God's promise to him came to pass. But since Abraham knew whom he believed, that the God whom he trusted "gives life to the dead and calls into being that which does not exist", he just believed that God would do it. And He certainly did!

Right now, I'm in the middle of this situation wherein I just have to take God for His word, just like what good old Abe did. Sometimes, I just want to give up but then His words keep ringing on my head, "He is faithful." There's a certainty to His promise. He's not like the seasoned politicians that we have right now (by the way, the election day is fast approaching, and this is the time of the year where we hear nothing but promises) who just keep on blabbing words that cannot be trusted. He doesn't blabber! He spoke His word and He is faithful to do it! He will always keep what He said, no matter what!

When I read this part, I tell you I am really refreshed. I am assured in my heart that God still cares and He will do what He promised me... in His time.

He Saw You

2007-04-03T01:10:00.000-07:00

I read an article which I believe will warm our hearts. I've copied it below. Read and ponder on it.

Once, before the foundation of the world, Jesus and His Father had a conversation about the great plan of redemption. That conversation included you. Jesus looked down the corridors of time and knew that you would be born. He saw your needs when He said to His Father, "I will go." At the Father's appointed time, Jesus came to earth so that you would never need to be far from Him. What an incredible journey He made; what an overwhelming expression of love He made; what an awesome purpose He had in mind. You were on His heart. When He left His home in heaven, He saw you; when He became a man on earth, He was seeking you; when He stretched out His hands upon the cross, He was reaching out to you; when He returned to His Father, He was preparing a place for you. You are the sheep He has come to shepherd, to guide, to feed, to protect, to shelter and to carry. You are the one He calls His own.

- Roy Lessin

Isn't it nice to reflect on these words? May the true meaning of the Lenten season be realized by each one of us and thus usher us to have a grateful heart to the One who loves us.

Perfect Through Suffering

2007-04-02T00:29:00.000-07:00

In one of my daily quiet times, there was this verse that really caught my attention. It is found in Hebrews 2:10, "In bringing many sons to glory, it was fitting that God, for whom and through whom everything exists, should make the author of their salvation perfect through suffering."

It suddenly occurred to me that something must really undergo testings and trials before it could be called "perfect". Then I thought of my life. During the formative and growing up years of my life, I could say that my family had really tried their best to protect and shelter me from all kinds of pain and suffering. They did that so that I would not have none of these so-called struggles in life. I felt so blessed and loved. Yes, I grew up too dependent on family but because the Lord was (and still is) my Guide, I didn't grow up too soft. I mean, I also have a "strong" side.

Then one day, my family have to leave and I was left alone here in the Philippines. I realized that things are not that easy now. I learned to live on my own. I have to think what food to prepare and how to get food myself. Unlike of course when my Mamu was here, everything was provided for. Then, slowly, I begin to feel the "struggles in life".

It is not really easy. It is not a piece of cake nor a walk in the park. It is a lesson that I always learn everyday of my life. I am on that point of asking God why He is allowing these things to happen. Because I really don't know. I'm at my wit's end. Honestly, I don't know what to do. Then this verse spoke to my heart. Even the Author of our salvation had undergone suffering for Him to be "perfected". He experienced the most inhumane life's struggles, yet He didn't open His mouth. And after everything was said and done, "It is finished!", He is now reigning in heaven and everything is under His feet; no more struggles but just reaping the fruit of His suffering here on earth, that is, the salvation of mankind!

I may be experiencing difficulties in life now. I may not know God's divine reason for this. I may find Him to silent to answer my questions.But there's an assurance in His word- He just wants me to be perfect through suffering. One song that really touches me and reminds me of God's nature is this: "God is too wise to be mistaken. God is too good to be unkind. So when you don't understand, when you can't see His plans, when you can't reach His hands, trust His heart." That's what I will do today.

Food for Thought

2007-03-07T00:35:00.000-08:00

I got this message from a friend who has not been communicating with me for a long time. Why we didn't communicate? It's because of our busy schedule. So, I was surprised when I saw her name in my inbox indicating that she has a message for me. I just want to share this with you.

A LENTEN REFLECTION

Give up complaining; focus on gratitude.

Give up pessimism; become an optimist.

Give up harsh judgments; think kindly thoughts.

Give up worry; trust Divine Providence.

Give up discouragement; be full of hope.

Give up bitterness; turn to forgiveness.

Give up hatred; return good for evil.

Give up negativism; be positive.

Give up anger; be more patient.

Give up pettiness; become mature.

Give up gloom; enjoy the beauty that is all around you.

Give up jealousy; pray for trust.

Give up gossiping; control your tongue.

Give up sin; turn to virtue.

Give up giving up; hang in there!

-- Author Unknown

I'm Getting Married!

2007-03-01T21:29:00.000-08:00

At last! After seven loooong years of waiting, I'm finally getting married! The Lord is sooo good! Well, I said seven long years because seven years ago (I was 25 years old then), I dreamt of being married to the man of my dreams. But that didn't happen, I was boyfriend-less at that time. I thought, it wouldn't happen anymore. So, I just prayed and waited and then... tadaah! Wilbert S. Lojo had proposed last year (after 2 years of being partners) and so we are going to tie the knot on June 16 of this year. How about that? All I can say is "Praise God"! We're both excited and we are enjoying our preparation time. Sometimes, it gives me headaches but I know it's all gonna be worth it.

How Time Flies So Quickly!

2007-03-01T19:37:00.000-08:00

Doesn't time fly so fast? Come to think of it, it seems like it was just yesterday when we welcomed the new year and here we are now, it's almost lenten season! Oh my, we really can't stop the turn of the clock's hands. ;-)

Somehow, it excites me because I believe that every new day is another day closer to the coming of the Lord. "Lift up your eyes Church for your redemption draweth nigh!" These words echo in my ears as I face each day. I must admit though, that sometimes I tend to forget this glorious promise of the Lord. Nevertheless, I'm always brought back to that thought and my mind begins to wonder, "What will it be like? I can only imagine..."

May our hearts ever be desiring for that glorious day! May our souls be always clothed with His righteousness! And may our spirit be fervently waiting for the coming of our Lord!

Yes, time flies so quickly but He does it so for His glory! :-)

Christmas Party '06

2006-12-11T00:21:00.000-08:00

my Babe with Ate Alice, just preparing for the party

light moment with Ate Beth, Nick and Maricon, his wife

Ggggrrr... my foot isn't happy... the water is so cold!

kids just wanna have fun (at the ice skating rink of MOA)!

before the party with Kuya Larry and Ate Lina, in front of Gumbo - Mall of Asia

these are some of the pics during our Christmas party...

It's Christmas Time

2006-12-10T23:29:00.000-08:00

Red and green. These are the colors that you will see almost everywhere. Honestly, not only these hues, there are others as well, but these are the most predominant. So, what does it suggest? That Christmas is just around the corner! And we're all happy about it, right?

Our office has celebrated Christmas party the earliest, I guess. We had it last December 1. Is there anybody there who celebrated their Christmas party earlier than we did? I guess, there's none. Hehehe! We all had fun during that time. We held it at Gumbo in Mall of Asia. The food was delectably spicy. The ambiance was good. We had parlor games and exhange gifts. We witnessed the awesome fireworks. Galing talaga! In short, we really had fun! But it's like "bitin". Because we didn't have anything to do after that (well, that's far as the adults were concerned). As for the kids, boy, do they have the most exciting party of their lives! Because they did ice skating! Yipee! Hehehe! While they were doing their stints, we, the adults were cheering for them, hehehe! We really enjoyed to be spectators and cheerleaders of these kids.

It was special because this was my first time to spend it with one of my bosses, Ate Cina. It's a bit sad though, because Kuya Ty, Ate Cina's husband was still in Taiwan at that time due to cancelled flight due to typhoon which was forecasted to pass by Manila on that day. Good thing, the typhoon seemed to be a bit shy that it avoided Manila but still, Kuya Ty's flight was cancelled. Last year Christmas' party was my first time in the office and both of them were not around. So, I'm still thankful because we still have Ate Cina with us during that time.

Yes, it's Christmas time and I think that this will be a different one for me. Why? Because this is the very first time that I'll wake up on December 25 without my family. Waahh! I don't know what I will do on that day... My fiance is inviting me to celebrate it with his family. I would love to but I'm thinking about my Tita at home... Anyways, I'm hoping that the Lord has in stored something special on that day for me...

It's Christmas time... a time to thank God for giving His only Son, the Lord Jesus Christ for the salvation of mankind. Have we thanked Him enough? I believe that words are not enough to thank Him. All I know is that a life that is fully surrendered to Him will make CHRISTmas time more meaningful, not only for Him but also to us.

merry christmas everybody!

lessons i learned

2006-11-08T00:23:00.000-08:00

Last week was one of those learning-experience-weeks for me. One incident that happened to me has formed a question in my heart and mind. The question: "Why can't Christians be more CHRIST-like? (By the way, I was in the middle of writing down here the full account of what happened that week and I even entitled it with the same question I have in mind, when suddenly the computer went kaput and there my composition went... it's gone and I just felt like.... whaaaa! So, I'm writing a new one in a different light, I think I just have to write down the lessons i learned.

Because of what happened last week, a question was formed in my heart and mind: "Why can't Christians be more CHRIST-like?" And then I began to look inside of me and asked myself, "Am I showing CHRIST in my life or I'm just like others who fail to reflect Jesus in their lives?" Because of that incident, I became more conscious of my attitude. Thank God for that.

Another lesson: "Extending help doesn't need instruction, it just takes compassion."

I am hoping that someday I would be able to publish a book that is a compilation of the lessons I learned through the years. I'm really thankful to the Lord for allowing me to experience not only the good things in this life but also the not-so-nice ones. They teach me a lot! The leave imprints in my heart which I hope to pass them on to others, especially to my would-be children, to the next generation.

May the Lord be glorified in my life as I continue to discover life's greatest lessons taught by Him.

A Wake Up Call

2006-11-08T00:19:00.000-08:00

Quote: Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom. Psalm 90:12

Last October 31, I went home to Calamba, my hometown. I took a leave from the office because I have no other option. The government has declared only a one-day holiday and that is on All Saint's Day, November 1. In order to avoid the traffic jams and other problems that might occur due to this short holiday, I took that day off. On November 1, after coming from the cemetery, I received a call. It was from one of my churchmates. She asked me how I was doing and we had a short time of "kamustahan". Then she told me that one of our former co-workers and friend (he's also my kumpare because I'm a ninang to his youngest child, I also call him Kuya) was confined at that very hour in PGH. I asked her why. She told me that she didn't also know. All she knew was that a day before that they were talking over the phone and that this brother (confined in the hospital) was sharing to her that he just needed a check-up. He was also telling her all the things that were happening in his life, his wife and family. How he's coping with the chemo and the expenses incurred by his medication. At that time, he's suffering from cancer of the throat. They used to have a very good business but due to unknown circumstances it began to dwindle. His wife was forced to go to Dubai and work there and I think that was just a year ago. She would want to come home but apparently, she couldn't because she still has to finish the contract which is for two years. If she decided to come back here, she wouldn't receive anything from her employer and worse, she has to pay for her own fare.
Then the next day, to her surprise, the eldest daughter (15 or 16 years old, I think), texted her and said that her papa was confined already. So this sister called me up and shared this. Before hanging up the phone, we decided that we should pray for him and for his family. Honestly, I forgot to pray for him that night. The next morning, as I was on my way to work, I received a text message from this sister again. She forwarded a message (that is from the eldest daughter of my kumpare). He has passed away. I was really shocked. I couldn't believe it! How could it happen? His wife is away, his eldest is just 15 or 16 years old and the youngest is barely 5 years old. I couldn't speak. I couldn't say anything. Then several questions sprang up in my mind. Was he able to do God's assignment in his life? Is the Lord finished with him? How about me? Am I doing the Lord's commission in my life? Am I finished with God's assignment yet? When will I leave this world? How about my Babe? Because he is kind of sickly, will the Lord take him away at the prime of his life or is it me who will be taken away early? These are the questions that flooded my mind. Then the word of the Lord came, "Teach me (us) to number my (our) days aright, that I may live a life of (we may gain a heart) wisdom." I became conscious of how I'm living the life that the Lord has given me. This incident has been a wake up call for me...
I don't know when my time will be. I'm not sure if I'll ever reach that day that I would see my grandchildren growing up. No matter what happens or what the Lord decides to do, I am hoping that when that day comes, I'll be able to face my Lord and Master with joy and excitement in my heart knowing that I have done what needs to be done. I am longing to hear the very words that He said to the good and faithful servant in the Bible. I desire to be a good and faithful servant of His while I am entrusted with this life, the skills, giftings and abilities. Teach me to number my days aright Lord, that I may gain a heart of wisdom.

It's Been a Long Time...

2006-11-06T23:13:00.000-08:00

It's been a long time since I've written here... I miss those times when I would always look forward to visiting my site and write down my thoughts. But busyness always gets the best of me, I am no longer able to update. Hooray for this moment! I don't have so much to do, that's why I'm updating now...

Finally, I saw this Flash Badge from flickr I've been dying to get hold of this one and I finally found it. I envied those who have this flash badge and have been wondering how they were able to do it... and that's just it. I'm discovering things on my own... I remember that I tried asking one of the best (if not the best) bloggers I've ever seen ( I mean, I always visit her website), about it and how to personalize my blog, but she did not say anything... I felt so kawawa but I can do nothing about it. It's her choice whether to answer me or not and I believe she chose the latter.

Anyways, at least I'm learning through discovery and that's more valuable, right? I just hope that whoever will come across my blog will be generous enough to share his knowledge about blogging and help me in "beautifying" my small space here in the blog world.

I'm Joy and signing on once again... to the bloggers' world! :-)

Some Differences

2006-05-17T00:47:00.000-07:00

Below are some of my pics while I was at C21. I was really bored to death at that time. My student didn't come and I was just waiting for the hour to pass :-( It's one of those times that I didn't like. I would rather teach for an hour and a half (we're supposed to teach for an hour only), than wait for one hour without anything to do. My co-teachers would tell me at that time that it's okay because I'd still be paid even if I didn't teach, and it's actually my gain. But my principle doesn't agree with that. Some differences huh? ;-)By the way, I used my cameraphone here.

Of Friendship & Memories

2006-03-15T05:22:00.000-08:00

It's been a week since Hany, one of my Korean students had left for Korea and then she'll go to England to study. I really miss this student of mine. She's not only a student but a friend also, a chingu (Korean). I remember her last day in school. She was on the verge of crying. I would have cried at that time also had I not controlled myself. I wanted to be strong for her at that time. I cracked jokes and talked just about anything to make her happy. We spent that last one hour talking about the future, our dreams and our plans of seeing each other again after two years. We assured each other that we won't forget our friendship, that we'll keep in touch and we will simply be friends even if we are far from each other. We reminisced that time when my Babe and I had a dinner with her. It was our treat for her. She said that my Babe is a very nice guy and that she envies me. I told her that God can give her someone like my Babe even better if she would just ask from Him. She nodded and smiled. She doesn't believe in God but when I told her that God answers prayers even if the pray-er is a Korean, she believes. She even asked me to pray for her. That's really something... and touching, I guess...

Hany had already left but the memories of our friendship will linger until that day when we will see each other again. It may not be in the same institution where we first met, may be somewhere; my Babe and I may be married at that time, with a child or two, and a lot of changes may have occured, we don't know. But for sure, we'll still be friends as the Lord blesses us with His love and grace and keeps this friendship intact.

A Cherished Moment

2006-03-15T05:09:00.000-08:00

My Babe and I had a talk, a heart-to-heart talk, that is. I really cherish a moment like this when we would open our hearts to each other. He told me what's inside his heart. He's not taking me for granted. It's just the busyness of life that's taking its toll on him. I understand him. I love him, I really do! He loves me just the same. We walked after our simple dinner at KFC. We passed by 7-eleven to buy my toner. Then we dropped by National Bookstore because it was still open. Together, we looked at different books and magazines. He told me that just by simply looking at the books, he would feel sleepy. He's not really a book lover unlike me. I showed him three cards that express my feelings for him. He responded by saying, "I love you too!" After sometime, we decided to go home. It's a simple evening but it meant a lot to me. This is what I call "quality time at its best", hehehe!Isn't it redundant? Anyways, I'm just glad about it... my one cherished moment.

Random Pictures from C21

2006-03-13T03:04:00.000-08:00

These are some of the pics taken by Deen, a former co-teacher and friend.

Deen & I

Teachers Deen, Mitch and Grace

This one was taken by Hany, a former student and friend

My Students

Before & After...

2006-01-06T02:02:00.000-08:00

The following pics are taken before we (officemates)said bye bye for our Christmas break...

This picture was taken after our Christmas break

What do you say? We can't really have enough of the Ihaw-Ihaw at Riverbanks. We simply love it!

Ponder On This

2006-01-05T23:51:00.000-08:00

An obligation to feel can freeze feeling. This one is from CS Lewis, the mind behind the well - loved masterpiece "The Chronicles of Narnia".

Starbucks Coffee Planner 2006

2006-01-01T23:32:00.000-08:00

Hey, hey, hey! Finally, I've got it! The long wait is over! It's an answered prayer! I have now the limited edition of Starbucks Coffee Planner 2006! I prayed that it would come before the year 2005 ends, and guess what? It came last December 30, 2005! I was really serious in collecting those stickers that although coffee is a no-no for me, I still bought my "cups" of it! Hehehe! And you know what? My babe and his parents also helped me in getting those precious stickers, whew! That's quite a feat,not to mention the amount for every tall or grande order... By the way, the last sticker was "donated" by my mamu. She gave me the money to buy one for me=), because she doesn't like it, it's too expensive for her. But the thing is, you are able to donate something for the Spark a Hope foundation and you'll get something in return, the planner! Honestly, I was really oblivious to the fact that there's a donation thing, I was really after the elusive planner, but when I saw/ read the card (because at that time I had only one sticker missing), I realize that it's not only about getting what you want but giving what others don't have, and that's a nice feeling =)

Just One Day at a Time

2006-01-01T02:22:00.000-08:00

So, this is it! Another year for all of us, another year nearer to the fulfillment of our most awaited dream (whatever it is)! Whew! Time flies so fast! It's seems like it was just yesterday... and here comes another year to my life, to our lives... I've got no new year's resolution, I just want to live one day at a time, make the most out of every opportunity given to me. I don't want to make any promise and put pressure on myself just to fulfill it or on the other hand, make tons of promises and then just write them in the water and forget them! hehehe! I've already been through that. Guess, I just have to make sure that as I live each day, I'll make sure that I give my best=) It's been quite a long time since I've written here. But you know what? I kept on checking this blog and changing it, hoping that one day, I'll make it as beautiful as I want it to be. Sad to say, I'm not that expert in it... the result,well, just this a simple blog=) hehehe! I'm hoping that this year, I'll find a lot of comments and suggestions here. Well, that's all for now. I'm just using my sweet one's pc and I don't want to take so much of their electric bill=) hehehe! Hapi Nu Yir everyone!

Got A New Blog Look

2005-12-22T00:57:00.000-08:00

hiya! got a new blog look, it's for the coming year. i'd like to make my blog beautiful indeed, but here's just what i can do. i spent some precious hours finding ways to remove the blogger navbar at the top (see that?)but nothing happened, it's still there... well, if i can't beat it, then i guess i just have to stick with it :) hehehe!

random thoughts

2005-12-05T22:29:00.000-08:00

I've been busy lately that's why I was not able to blog, hehehe! or post my thoughts here. I miss this thingy so much, I just wish I had more time a few days ago when my mind was just swelling with a lot of things to write, but now it just seems so blank... I try to recollect the past events...

Last Thursday, Babe & I ate at "Bakahan at Manukan" in Megamall. It was really a sumptous dinner and we were really satisfied. As we were about to finish our drinks, a waiter came and offered leche flan. I would really want to have a taste of it because it looked delicious. So I asked the waiter if it's for free, sad to say, it's not! And besides, we were already full. Babe knows that I love leche flan... The next day, after coming from sm north edsa to buy our gifts for our monito and monita, we went to "Jo's Chicken Inato" located in Visayas Avenue. Again, we had a mouth - watering and tummy - satisfying dinner. Guess what? Babe ordered a leche flan!Isn't that sweet! Babe, thanks for that sugar rush, for your sweetness... You are sweet in your own special way... I love you!

I wish to write here other happenings, but again, I'm in a hurry. Got to go to dorm and change clothes for our Christmas party... so long!

I'm not Feeling Well

2005-11-20T23:55:00.000-08:00

Got this colds since saturday evening and because of this I didn't get much sleep last night... I was awake until 2am and I had just some short naps and then was awakened every hour. And just imagine, I have to be up at 6am to be able to make it by 8am in the office... just when you need that precious sleep... Right now, I'm not feeling well, guess I have to leave early, buy some food and go home (dorm). Tomorrow, my babe will go with me to the hospital. I need to have a medical check - up... I was supposed to upload my pics and my babe's... I'll just do it some other time na lang... well, that's all for now... shalom! :)

T.G.I.F.

2005-11-16T01:51:00.000-08:00

Last October 28, my room mate Lei,her friend Luz and I went to watch a concert at Dusit Hotel. This is a blessing from the Lord, why? Because it's for free! Just imagine how much each ticket cost (the ones we had)? Just about P3,500.00 each! Hehehe! Now, do you agree with me? This concert didn't cost me even a single centavo! Thanks to my room mate, Lei! :) Now, you may wonder why TGIF? Can you find out why? Here are some of our pics!

the trio :)

Mr. Eddie Gutierrez & the trio :)

Luz & Me

Lei & Me

Amazing God

2005-11-10T00:39:00.000-08:00

Want to sing with me? hehehe! this is really a nice song! It describes who God is - He is Indescribable! Amazing!Actually, words are not enough to depict who He really is!

Indescribable
Chris Tomlin

From the highest of heights to the depths of the sea,
Creation's revealing Your majesty.
From the colors of fall to the fragrance of spring,
Every creature unique in the song that it sings. All exclaiming...

Indescribable, Uncontainable,
You placed the stars in the sky and You know them by name.
You are amazing God.
All powerful, untameable,
Awestruck we fall to our knees and we humbly proclaim,
You are amazing God.

Who has told every lightning bolt where it should go,
Or seen heavenly storehouses laden with snow?
Who imagined the sun and gives source to its light,
Yet conceals it to give us the coolness of night?
None can fathom...

Incomparable, Unchangeable,
You see the depths of my heart and You love me the same.
You are amazing God.

Peek-chures

2005-11-10T00:32:00.000-08:00

here are some pictures: my ate ganda, my beautiful nieces and my mamu dearest :)

FlightPlan

2005-11-09T23:53:00.000-08:00

Last night, we watched this movie, Flightplan. It's a nice movie. I just feel that it's quite slow or dragging, but the plot is interesting. It's about a wife, Kyle Pratt (Jodie Foster)who had just lost her husband in a mysteriousand unexpected death. She decided to leave the place where they used to live (Berlin) and move to New York together with her 6 - year old daughter, Julia who was hesitant at that time because she's afraid. After some prodding and promise that Pratt would be holding her "all the way", the child conceded. They were the first one to board the 474 aircraft. Julia had some apprehensions but Pratt encouraged her again by telling her that she helped in designing the plane. That's why she knows that everything would be all right. After sometime, Pratt felt asleep and found that her daughter was missing. She looked everywhere and even asked the captain to have a full search. When everything's done, her daughter was not found and all evidences showed that her daughter was never on board. Though the entire passengers and crew of the plane doubted her sanity, Pratt did everything to solve the mystery and save her daughter.

It talks about caring for other people, that you have to look after the welfare of others also and not just your own. Just imagine, nobody saw Kyle's daughter, though she was talking to her all the time? And they even moved from their seats to another, I think, it's at the "back" of the plane. Evrybody seemed to have the "mind your own business" kind of thinking. It's like nobody cares at all!

It also gives this reminder not to judge people by their looks. When Pratt was already devastated, she saw an Arab who was also on board and she interrogated her. She even accused the man as the kidnapper of her daughter.

This film also shows the power of mother's instinct. When almost everybody was saying that her daughter was already dead and that she was not on board, she firmly believed that "my daughter is alive" and she proved that amidst all the physical challenges that she encountered.

It's a nice movie. We enjoyed it, I hope that you will too! :)

He's Back!

2005-11-09T23:35:00.000-08:00

my babe is back! yehey! actually, he's been here for two days :) well, what do you know? of course, i'm so happy, happy, happy! i missed this guy so much! two weeks of being away from one another is no joke. he went to the islands of visayas and mindanao for some ministry work. he told me it's not really that long, that i wouldn't even notice how time flies so quickly... but you know what? those weeks are the longest week for me. why is it like that? when you want time to stand still, it just won't but when you don't want it to end, it seems that it runs... sometimes, i would cry because i miss him... praise God, he's back! it's really nice to see him and hold his hand again... the way he slips his hand and how it fits into mine... haay, i feel so secured and so loved... thanks babe, i love you :)

I'm Almost There...

2005-11-09T02:30:00.000-08:00

for the past few days, i was really trying my best to make this blog very nice. i mean, i kept on adding things, then remove them again, then add again, it's kind of tiring but i really enjoyed it and i know i'm almost there:) hehehe! one day, i'm gonna make it... and make it to the top! hahaha! that sounds familiar?

how will i do it?

2005-11-07T16:59:00.000-08:00

hiya! i've been thinking about this blog. i really want to redo it, the thing is, i just don't know how. i want to put some music, change the font and color, i just don't know how... can somebody help me? i'm totally lost =( poor child...

random thoughts...

2005-11-07T01:51:00.000-08:00

my back hurts, as in, grabe! maybe because of my too much time in front of the computer. what will i do, this is my job? honestly, i really enjoy this internet thingy that i do in the office. it's kinda different from my past jobs, but i'm really enjoying it... it's a whole new world to me... i wonder where will this bring me in the end? well, only the Almighty knows... after all, no experience is ever wasted in His hands...

i'm so excited now because this is the last day that i'm gonna long for my babe... hooray! yehey! he'll be coming back tomorrow, boy, i really miss him so much... funny, that for the last two weeks that he'd been out (he's in the islands of visayas and mindanao), i always had this tampo and you know what? he's always quick to appease it by assuring me that he loves me and that i'm the only woman in his life. isn't it sweet?

babe, you really made me feel secure... thank you... i love you...

i want this blog to be a little something different... hmmm... anybody got an idea?

just want to post these quotes:

Don't make negative criticism. If you can't praise - say nothing.

How little a life is to offer to God!

Some Favorite Quotes

2005-11-01T00:15:00.000-08:00

I have finished reading "The Horse Whisperer" by Nicholas Evans. It's beautiful but it's kind of sad. It made me want to cry after the last sentence... Huhuhu! Why does he have to die? Anyways, here are some of my favorite quotes from this novel

For secrets uttered softly into pricked and troubled ears, these men were known as Whisperers

...These animals (horses) have got big hearts, there's nothing they want more than to do what you want them to. But when the messages con confused, all they can do is try and save themselves.

They (horses) are the most forgiving creatures God ever made

(Tom)

It's like asking a woman to dance... If you've got no confidence and you're scared she's gonna turn you down and you sidle up, looking at your boots, sure as eggs'll break, she'll turn you down. Of course, then you can try grabbing her and forcing her around the floor, but neither one of you's gonna end up enjoying it a whole lot.

(Tom's grandfather on a gentle way with horses)

Dancing and riding, it's the same damn thing...It's about trust and consent. You've gotten hold of one another. The man's leading but he's not dragging her, he's offering a feel and she feels it and goes with him. You're in harmony and moving to each other's rhythm, just following the feel.

(Tom's grandfather on riding with horses)

If only you could make now last forever.

(Tom's brother,Frank)

I guess that's all forever is...Just one long tail of nows. And I guess all you can do is try and live one now at a time without getting too worked up about the last now or the next now.

(Tom's father, Daniel)

These children of ours are precious, GOd - given creatures and when something goes wrong, we just have to stand right by them and do what's best.

It was she believed, a simple and unassailable fact of life that if a woman went to epic lengths to throw herself on the mercy of a man, the man would not, could not, refuse.

Maybe all mothers had such insight on their daughters and sometimes it was wonderful to be so understood.

All her life she had lived where she didn't belong.

She looked at the bulls lazing in the last of the sunshine. 'Who'd be a cow when you could lie around like these guys all day?'

(Annie)

Seeing the house standing there against the clear night sky, he'd thought of Rachel and the pain those walls had encased so many years ago. Now pain was encased there again, pain of the highest order, finely wrought by mutual guilt and used by wounded souls to punish those they love the most.

There were such moments, he knew, when the world chose thus to reveal itself not, as it might seem, to mock our plight or our irrelevance but simply to affirm, for us and for all life, the very act of being.

It's only the difference between looking and seeing. Look long enough and if you're doing it right you get to see.

(Tom)

...Where there's pain, there's still feeling and where there's feeling, there's hope

(Tom)

All things were one, and like a rider in harmony, the best a man could do was recognize the feel and go with it and be as true to it as his soul let him.

Because you're you. YOu're incredible. You're beautiful and you're strong. And you're the bravest person I ever met in my whole life

(Annie)

So special. Because I was the only one, I felt you both expected me to be so good at everything, so perfect and I wasn't, I was just me. And now I've gone and spoiled it all anyway.

(Grace)

...What a perilous commodity love was and that the proper calibration of its givng and taking was too precise by far for mere humans.

When he lays his hands on them you can ssee all the trouble just kind of fall out of them

(Tom)

'He had to the choice to go on fighting life or to accept it... He did. It was hard as hell, but he could have gone on. Gone on making himself more and more unhappy. But what he chose to do instead was to go to the brink and look beyond. And he saw what was there and he chose to accept it.' He turned to grace and put his hands on her shoulders. 'What just happened to him, laying down like that, was the worst thing he could imagine. And you know what? He found it was okay. Even you standing on him was okay. He saw you meant him no harm. The darkest hour comes before the dawn. That was Pilgrim's darkest hour and he survived it.

(Tom)

'Annie? Do you understand? It's real, real important you understand this. Sometimes what seems like surrender isn't surrender at all. It's about what's going on in our hearts. About seeing clearly the way life is and accepting it and being true to it, whatever the pain, because the pain of not being true to it si far, far greater.

(Tom)

Annie looked at it a long time before she opened it. She thought how strange it was that never till now had she seen Tom's handwriting. Inside, folded in a sheet of plain white paper, was the loop of cord he'd taken back from her on that last night they spent together in the creek house. On the paper, all he'd written was, In case you forget.

No Time... I Guess.

2005-10-25T02:31:00.000-07:00

You are about to leave the office and you just passed my way.
You didn't bother to say "bye", you didn't seem to care.
I'm not asking you to hold me, I'm not asking you to stay.
What I just want to hear from you is that, "I love you, I'll be away."

Is that too hard for you to do?
Is it too much to ask from you?
All I want is just for you to show me
That you value me so...

I guess, I just have to live with it
I guess, I just have to understand
You are too busy to notice me
Too busy...
You have no time.

Whew! Got a hard time making this one!

2005-10-19T01:06:00.000-07:00

I'm really addicted to this blog thingy that I think I have already three... Honestly though, I had a hard time making this one... The thing is, updating three blogs a day is quite time consuming but I really love it... hope, I'll have more time =) hehehe!