it's been a while...

i didn't keep my promise and i think i couldn't... that is a promise of updating my blog... a lot of things happened... however, they are inscribed in my heart... couldn't remember the details though :-)

The Statutes of the Lord are Trustworthy...

"The statutes of the Lord are trustworthy, making wise the simple." This is what Psalm 19:7 says and I believe it's true. The Word of the Lord is dependable, it will guide us as we walk through life. It will help us avoid the dangers that lie in wait. And not only that, the Word of the Lord also reassures us of His promises, that no matter what happens, God is in control and His goodness is always available for those who look for them.

Below are the verses which have leapt off the Bible's pages into my heart. Let me share them with you. Enjoy!

Psalm 102:12,13 "But You, O Lord, sit enthroned forever; Your renown endures through all generations. You will arise and have compassion on Zion, for it is time to show favor to her; the appointed time has come."

Psalm 105:19 "... till the Word of the Lord proved him true."

Psalm 106:3 "Blessed are they who maintain justice, who constantly do what is right."

Psalm 116:12-14 "How can I repay the Lord for all His goodness to me? I will lift up the cup of salvation and call on the name of the Lord. I will fulfill my vows to the Lord in the presence of all His people."

Psalm 131:1 "My heart is not proud, O Lord, my eyes are not haughty; I do not concern myself with great matters or things too wonderful for me."

Psalm 136 "Give thanks to the Lord... His love endures forever."

Psalm 138:8 "The Lord will fulfill His purpose for me."

Psalm 145:13-20 "The Lord is faithful to all His promises and loving toward all He has made. The Lord upholds all those who fall and lifts up all who are bowed down. The eyes of all look to You, and You give them their food at the proper time. You open your hand and satisfy the desires of every living thing. The Lord is righteous in all His ways and loving towards all He has made. The Lord is near to all who call on Him, to all who call on Him in truth. He fulfills the desires of those who fear Him; He hears their cry and saves them. The Lord watches over all who love Him, but all the wicked He will destroy."

Psalm 147: 10,11 "His pleasure is not in the strength of the horse, nor His delight in the legs of a man; the Lord delights in those who fear Him, who put their hope in His unfailing love."

Psalm 150 "Let everything that has breath... Praise the Lord!

Proverbs 1:2-7 "... for attaining wisdom and discipline; for understanding words of insight; for acquiring a disciplined and prudent life, doing what is right and just and fair; for giving prudence to the simple, knowledge and discretion to the young- let the wise listen and add to their learning, and let the discerning get guidance- for understanding proverbs and parables, the sayings and riddles of the wise. The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and discipline."

Proverbs 1:33 "... but whoever listens to me will live in safety and be at ease, without fear of harm."

Proverbs 4:23-25 "Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life. Put away perversity from your mouth, keep corrupt talk far from your lips. Let your eyes look straight ahead, fix your gaze directly before you."

Proverbs 7:2 "Keep my commands and you will live; guard my teachings as the apple of your eye."

Proverbs 8:2 "On the height along the way, where the paths meet, she takes her stand..."

Proverbs 9:8,9 "Do not rebuke a mocker or he will hate you; rebuke a wise man and he will love you. Instruct a wise men and he will be wiser still; teach a righteous man and he will add to his learning."

Proverbs 10:22 "The blessing of the Lord brings wealth, and He adds no trouble to it."

Proverbs 11:2 "When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom."

Proverbs 12:14 "From the fruit of his lips a man is filled with good things as surely as the work of his hands rewards him."

Proverbs 12:4 "A wife of noble character is her husband's crown, but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones."

Proverbs 13:11 "Dishonest money dwindles away, but he who gathers money little by little makes it grow."

Proverbs 14:8 "The wisdom of the prudent is to give thought to their ways, but the folly of fools is deception."

Proverbs 15:1 "A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger."

Proverbs 15:3 "The eyes of the Lord are everywhere, keeping watch on the wicked and the good."

Proverbs 15:33 "The fear of the Lord teaches a man wisdom and humility comes before honor."

"Meet the Robinsons" and Be Encouraged!

Last August 30, Babe and I watched "Meet the Robinsons". At first, I was not really into it. I thought that watching it was just a waste of time. Babe did every trick he knew to persuade me. I believe his tricks weren't old yet because they really changed my mind about the idea of watching it.

So, what happened after watching it? I cried. It was like there's a lump in my throat. Why? Because the film taught very valuable lessons in life: "Keep moving forward!" "Never give up." "Your future is determined by the decisions you make today."

Have you ever felt like giving up? Have you ever wondered if there's more to life than what you have right now? In this journey that we call life, things aren't always up, right? There are times when it's like you're free falling, being pulled down by gravity without any stop. And when you reach the bottom, you don't want to stand up anymore. You just want to stay where you are.

But we should always remember that it's all up to us. It's all up to us where we want to settle and spend the rest of our life after that dispiriting experience. We can either wallow in the mud of self-pity and discouragement or soar and rise above our situation.

In the film, Luis (I'm not sure about the name, I forgot na) almost didn't make it to be the best inventor his country had ever known. When he was just a kid, although bright and witty, he encountered a lot of mistakes and failures. He was about to give up! But then, he met a family, the Robinsons family and told him to "keep moving forward" and that's what he did! He chose not to stay inside the cave of disappointment but get out of it and move ahead to the bright world of new opportunities. And did that guy bump into success!

Where are you right now? Why not drop everything that has been bothering you, "Meet the Robinsons" and be encouraged! Happy watching!:-)

God's Faithfulness is a Shield and Rampart

A lot of things have happened in my personal life, in my marriage life. My husband and I were tried and tested, and I should say that we overcame and emerged as victors. It's not because we are able-bodied warriors but because the Lord's faithfulness has been and will always be our shield and rampart. Let me tell you a story...

Last night (August 12), I had a dream. I dreamed that my Babe and I were inside a house. It was not a big house, rather just enough for us. Outside the house were lots of trees. We were surrounded with tall trees. Then a great storm came and all the trees around the house were knocked down one by one. A little fear swept over me for I thought about the trees that were in front of the house. They would surely crash our humble abode down. But when I looked at the window, I saw the trees had avoided our house when they fell off. For there was a clearing in front of our house. Suddenly, the word of the Lord was impressed in my heart, God is faithful. When I woke up, I shared this to Babe, my husband. I was then reminded about by a verse in the Bible- "You will only see it with your eyes... A thousand will fall at your side, ten thousand at your right hand but it will not come near you..." I got our Bible and looked for it and found it in Psalm 91. At the same time, the song that played on our cassette was, "Forever, God is faithful." I just cried as I read the verse to my husband.

That dream happened just before I underwent an operation. Four days after, on our second monthsary, I was at the The Medical City and underwent D & C operation. We didn't know that I was already 6 weeks pregnant then.

It was unexpected, I didn't know that that will happen but it happened. I realized that this was the storm in my dream but it had not destroyed us, it made us better persons. God's faithfulness has seen us through this trying times. We couldn't have survived it without Him. Indeed, He is a shield and rampart to those whose hearts
are fully committed to Him.

Some pictures before and after the "storm".


on one of the "complete-bed-rest" days


3 days before the operation


1 week after the operation


3 weeks after the operation


new hairdo, new look

A Month After that Blissful Day

Being married is fun and exciting but I tell you it's not all a bed of roses. A month after that blissful day, here am I, in tears and lonely. My husband and I are still in the adjustment period. I used to think that everything will just happen in one day. Now, what do I mean by that "everything"?

Well, I thought that within a month, I'd know him more and be known more by him. I thought that everyday would just be a day of sweetness and nothing else. But reality strikes me, it's not always like that... it's more than that.

My husband tells me that it might take us sometime before we would be used to living together, before we could honestly take our differences with surrender. What is important is that we're willing to undergo this process and that we have the Lord as the center and foundation of our marriage.

So, what would I say after a month of that blissful day? Do I have any regrets? Do I still have that confidence in my heart to say that, "he is the one"?

Well, a month after that blissful day, I still feel the same way for my husband. I don't have any regrets and my heart is still confident to say, "he really is the one"!

A month may be too young but I'm willing to spend my life with Wilbert, my husband, another month and even more months and years until that day when we will realize that we are already old and yet the love we have for each other is just like the love that we have for the first time.

Happy monthsary mahal ko! I love you muchi! :-)

June 16, 2007

From Miss Joy L. Barachina to Mrs. Joy B. Lojo! This is the day that we have been waiting for... A day of finally becoming one! The Lord is good!

A Surprise Shower Party for Me

I've always dreamed of having to walk down the aisle and have a family of my own. This is one of my childhood dreams. Now that it's coming to its fulfilment, one of the things that I'm looking forward to before tying the knot, is to have a shower party. I've asked my maid of honor if she's preparing one and she's not yet sure. I've also asked my ate, but I got the same answer.

Last Thursday, I talked to the Lord. I opened up my heart and just uttered, "Lord, maybe this is the only desire of my heart that You won't grant (because every petty or simple desires I have, He grants), and I don't know why." Little did I know that my sis friend, Deen, was cooking up something for me. She talked to our common friend, who happens to be my officemate also, Ate Beth. She talked to my fiance, Wilbert. And so the good plan materialized. A shower party was given to me. The Lord is so good! He never stops showing His goodness and kindness to His children.

Below are some of the pics of the shower. Did I get wet? Uhmmm... yes! With my own tears!;-)


my "sis" Deen, the 'brain' of this shower


ate beth, as she did the catwalk wearing a paper gown :-)


ate thess, wearing another paper gown :-)


gen and newly during one of the games


one of the gifts i received,hehehe! newly gave it. ;-)

When You Divorce Me Carry Me Out in Your Arms

I read an article that really touched my heart. Actually, it brought me to tears and left a lump in my throat. I hope that as everyone reads this, he or she will share it to a couple who is in the brink of divorce or separation and that in a way, this article will somehow make a difference.



On my wedding day, I carried my wife in my arms. The bridal car stopped in front of our one-room flat. My buddies insisted that I carry her out of the car in my arms. So I carried her into our home. She was then plump and shy. I was a strong and happy bridegroom. This was the scene ten years ago.

The following days were as simple as a cup of pure water: we had a kid; I went into business and tried to make more money. When the assets were steadily increasing, the affection between us seemed to ebb. She was a civil servant. Every morning we left home together and got home almost at the same time. Our kid was studying in a boarding school. Our marriage life seemed to be enviably happy. But the calm life was more likely to be affected by unpredictable changes. Dew came into my life.

It was a sunny day. I stood on a spacious balcony. Dew hugged me from behind. My heart once again was immersed in her stream of love. This was the apartment I bought for her. Dew said, you are the kind of man who best draws girls' eyeballs. Her words suddenly reminded me of my wife. When we were just married, my wife said, Men like you, once successful, will be very attractive to girls. Thinking of this, I became somewhat hesitant. I knew I had betrayed my wife. But I couldn't help doing so. I moved Dew's hands aside and said you go to select some furniture, O.K.? I've got something to do in the company. Obviously she was unhappy, because I had promised to do it together with her. At the moment, the idea of divorce became clearer in my mind although it used to be something impossible to me. However, I found it rather difficult to tell my wife about it. No matter how mildly I mentioned it to her, she would be deeply hurt. Honestly, she was a good wife. Every evening she was busy
preparing dinner. I was sitting in front of the TV. The dinner was ready soon. Then we watched TV together. Or, I was lounging before the computer, visualizing Dew's body. This was the means of my entertainment.

One day I said to her in a slightly joking way, suppose we divorce, what will you do? She stared at me for a few seconds without a word. Apparently she believed that divorce was something too far away from her. I couldn't imagine how she would
react once she got to know I was serious. When my wife went to my office, Dew had just stepped out. Almost all the staff looked at my wife with a sympathetic eye and tried to hide something while talking to her. She seemed to have got some hint. She gently smiled at my subordinates. But I read some hurt in her eyes. Once again,
Dew said to me, He Ning, divorce her, O.K.? Then we live together. I nodded. I knew I could not hesitate any more.

When my wife served the last dish, I held her hand. I've got something to tell you, I said. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the serious topic calmly. She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why? I'm serious. I avoided her
question. This so-called answer made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer, because my heart had gone to Dew. With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. I felt a pain in my heart. The woman who had been living ten years with me would become a stranger one day. But I could not take back what I had said. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer.

Late that night, I came back home after entertaining my clients. I saw her writing something at the table. I fall asleep fast. When I woke up, I found she was still there. I turned over and was asleep again. She brought up her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but I was supposed to give her one month s time before divorce, and in the month's time we must live as normal a life as possible. Her reason was simple: our son would finish his summer vacation a month later and she didn't want him to see our marriage was broken. She passed me the agreement she drafted, and then asked me, He Ning, do you still remember how I entered our bridal room on the wedding day? This question suddenly brought back all those wonderful memories to me. I nodded and said, I remember. You carried me in your arms, she continued, so, I have a requirement, that is, you carry me out in your arms on the day when we divorce. From now to the end of this month, you must carry me out from the bedroom to the door every morning. I accepted with a smile. I knew she missed those sweet days and wished to end her marriage romantically. I told Dew about my
wife s divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she does, she has to face the result of divorce, she said scornfully. Her words more or less made me feel uncomfortable.

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. We even treated each other as a stranger. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared lumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding
mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly, Let us start from today, don't tell our son. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait
for a bus, I drove to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. We were so close that I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this intimate woman carefully for a long time. I found she was not young any more. There were some fine wrinkles on her face.

On the third day, she whispered to me, the outside garden is being demolished. Be careful when you pass there.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I seemed to feel that we were still an intimate couple and I was holding my sweetheart in my arms.The visualization of Dew became vague.

On the fifth and sixth day, she kept reminding me something, such as, where she put the ironed shirts, I should be careful while cooking, etc. I nodded. The sense of intimacy was even stronger. I didn't tell Dew about this. I felt it was easier to carry her. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger. I said to her, It seems not difficult to carry you now. She was picking her dresses. I was waiting to carry her out. She tried quite a few but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I smiled. But I suddenly realized that it was because she was thinner that I could carry her more easily, not because I was stronger. I knew she had buried all the bitterness in her heart. Again, I felt a sense of pain. Subconsciously I reached out a hand to touch her head. Our son came in at the moment. Dad, it's time to carry mum out. He said. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had been an essential part of his life. She gestured our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face because I was afraid I would change my mind at the last minute. I held her in my arms, walking from the
bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly, as if we came back to our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad.

On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. She said, actually hope you will hold me in your arms until we are old. I held her tightly and said, both you and I didn't notice that our life lacked intimacy.

I jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my decision. I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door. I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I won't divorce. I'm serious. She looked at me, astonished. The she touched my forehead. You got no fever. She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I can only say sorry to you, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of life, not because we didn't love each other any more. Now I understand that since I carried her into the home, she gave birth to our child, I am supposed to hold her until I am old. So I have to say sorry to you. Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove to the office.

When I passed the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet for my wife which was her favorite. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until we are old.

The Certainty of His Promise

Another verse has touched me this morning as I was reading my Bible. "And thus, having patiently waited, he obtained the promise." These are the words in Hebrews 6:15. The author is talking about Abraham, who is known for his faith. We know his story, right? He used to be named Abram but after having an encounter with God, he was named, Abraham, which means, "the father of many nations". As we all know, it took many, many years before God's promise to him came to pass. But since Abraham knew whom he believed, that the God whom he trusted "gives life to the dead and calls into being that which does not exist", he just believed that God would do it. And He certainly did!

Right now, I'm in the middle of this situation wherein I just have to take God for His word, just like what good old Abe did. Sometimes, I just want to give up but then His words keep ringing on my head, "He is faithful." There's a certainty to His promise. He's not like the seasoned politicians that we have right now (by the way, the election day is fast approaching, and this is the time of the year where we hear nothing but promises) who just keep on blabbing words that cannot be trusted. He doesn't blabber! He spoke His word and He is faithful to do it! He will always keep what He said, no matter what!

When I read this part, I tell you I am really refreshed. I am assured in my heart that God still cares and He will do what He promised me... in His time.

He Saw You

I read an article which I believe will warm our hearts. I've copied it below. Read and ponder on it.

Once, before the foundation of the world, Jesus and His Father had a conversation about the great plan of redemption. That conversation included you. Jesus looked down the corridors of time and knew that you would be born. He saw your needs when He said to His Father, "I will go." At the Father's appointed time, Jesus came to earth so that you would never need to be far from Him. What an incredible journey He made; what an overwhelming expression of love He made; what an awesome purpose He had in mind. You were on His heart. When He left His home in heaven, He saw you; when He became a man on earth, He was seeking you; when He stretched out His hands upon the cross, He was reaching out to you; when He returned to His Father, He was preparing a place for you. You are the sheep He has come to shepherd, to guide, to feed, to protect, to shelter and to carry. You are the one He calls His own.

- Roy Lessin

Isn't it nice to reflect on these words? May the true meaning of the Lenten season be realized by each one of us and thus usher us to have a grateful heart to the One who loves us.